


I Know Places We Won't Be Found

by Shestoolazytologin



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Childhood Friends, Eventual Smut, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Family Drama, Gingerrose - Freeform, HEA, High School, Non-Linear Narrative, Pining, Rating May Change, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey Palpatine, Reylo - Freeform, Secret Relationship, childhood best friends, eventual, not entirely, once they are both over 18, only for a few chapters, rey palps
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:13:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22936144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shestoolazytologin/pseuds/Shestoolazytologin
Summary: Shoulder length hair, lazy waves. Hazel eyes. Freckles dotting a face so familiar, yet so foreign at the same time. A smile that has remained the same.It’s her.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Rose Tico, Kylo Ren/Rey, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 68
Kudos: 88





	1. Familiar Faces

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Musickat18](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Musickat18/gifts).



> Thank you to the lovely tmwillson3 for beta-reading!

[ ](https://ibb.co/XsQFByd)

Shoulder length hair, lazy waves. Hazel eyes. Freckles dotting a face so familiar, yet so foreign at the same time. A smile that has remained the same.

He stares at her, trying to regain his senses. She stands there, looking at him with a hint of recognition on her face, maybe a little bit of hesitation, and his emotions run wild. He’s not sure if it’s the person from his dreams, but she’s as close to the girl he remembers from his past as it gets.

“Mister Solo.” The principal’s voice snaps him out of his trance, and he blinks. “This is Miss Palpatine. She just started today — would you be so kind as to show her around?”

His heart is pounding, running a mile a minute, and he can’t believe his luck. He looks at her, and finds his incredulous look mirrored back at him.

It’s her. 

It’s her, and he is scared of what she’ll do to his heart if he lets her in again. 

* * *

_**Then** _

He looks at the landscape passing by at a speed faster than his eyes can track. It’s a gloomy day, like it’s about to rain, and he doesn’t like it. He’s sitting in the back of his car with his parents in the front, his dad driving his old Millennium Falcon. 

“The Falcon,” he had said that morning. “We’re taking it. The Falcon is a good luck omen for us Solos.”

Ben is young. However, at the age of seven, he is still old enough to understand when something has been tinkered with, and the Falcon is more Han-made than factory-made. 

He sees his mother turn and looks up at her as she prepares to speak. “Are you excited? The start of a new year, and at a new school, too!”

He isn’t sure whether he is excited. It’s a new school, with people he doesn’t know — he hates being the new kid. His summer break wasn’t really special, so there is no difference except the very obvious one of not being able to do what he wants to anymore.

“I guess…” He says half-heartedly, resuming his activity of looking outside the window.

The car stops a while later, and his mother gets out, opening the door for him. He undoes the clasps of the car seat and hops off it, taking his bag from his father.

“Be good, okay?” his mother says, lowering herself to look at him at eye level. “They are all your age sweetie; you need friends.”

He wants to tell her he doesn’t need friends, that he doesn’t even want them, but that would just make his mom explain him why he does. He doesn’t want to hear that at the moment.

He simply nods, and she stands up. “Bye, have fun!” 

They wave excitedly at him, and he turns around, walking into the building. He wishes his parents would have at least walked him in, showed him where he is supposed to go, but Ben has always been more independent than other children his age.

He sees kids of varying ages talk and laugh with each other, and he is reminded once again of how everyone here knows someone and he doesn’t. He’s walking mechanically, not really paying attention to his surroundings, so he is startled when his shoulder hits something. He looks up and realizes that what he bumped into isn't a something, but rather a someone.

“I’m sorry,” he says, extending his hand, and the girl currently sitting on the floor takes it. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

She dusts herself off, taking care not to ruin her pretty yellow sundress, and looks up at him. “It’s okay. It’s my first day here, too.”

He thinks her eyes are pretty, her brown hair soft, and she’s smiling at him — she has a very pretty smile, he thinks. 

“I’m Rey,” she says, hand outstretched. “What’s your name?”

He takes it, giving it a shake, and there’s a funny feeling the moment their hands touch. “I’m Ben.”

She’s looking at their hands too, until they both realize they’ve been shaking their hands for a little longer than necessary, and break apart. 

“How old are you?” Rey asks him as they walk to their class. She doesn’t seem to be nervous at all. He faintly wonders if her mom and dad walked her inside, and if not, why didn’t they?

Are they as busy as his mom and dad?

Is she also home alone a lot?

She’s looking at him, and he realizes he hasn’t given her an answer yet. “I’m seven; I will be eight in November. You?”

Me too!” she says, smiling brightly. “Seven, I mean. My birthday is in April.”

They stop in front of their class, or at least he hopes it’s their class — he can’t be sure.

Rey asks, and once they get confirmation, they enter and take their seats — right next to each other. Being in Rey’s company feels right, and Ben doesn’t feel lonely at all. 

Maybe this is what having a friend feels like. 

* * *

_**Now** _

They leave the principal's office at the same time. They walk next to each other, their steps in sync; though he’s trying to make his smaller so she won’t be left behind. He’s taken back to their first day, back when they met in school. They had also walked to class like this back then, and she’s wearing a yellow sundress today. But while this girl looks like his best friend, she is a complete stranger for all he knows. 

“This is the cafeteria,” he says, entering the big hall. He lets her look around a bit before he beckons her to follow him. 

“Over here, we have the journal office-”

“Ben.” She interrupts him, but he pretends he doesn’t hear her. 

He doesn’t know what to say. 

“And here’s the music room-”

“Ben, please.” She tries again, but he keeps his pretense up. 

“The lockers,” he says as they pass them by. 

“Can you just-”

“The library — Miss Ploom is a bit strict, so watch out,” he says while walking, not bothering to check if she’s following him. He knows he’s not being the most polite person in existence right now, but there’s a weird ache in his chest that hasn’t subsided ever since she left. Seeing her again has only intensified it. 

He knows it’s not her fault, knows it was her parents’ decision to relocate, but he can’t ignore the fact that there has been a Rey-sized shape in his heart ever since that day she told him she would be leaving. 

“Ben!” 

Her shout is strong, precise, and it makes him stop dead in his tracks. He takes a deep breath before bracing himself, and turning around. 

She’s standing several steps behind him, having stopped at some point, and he can see the pleading look on her face. 

“Ben, please, stop,” she whispers, and he swallows the lump in his throat. 

This girl used to be his best friend. He thinks she has been his first love for the past ten years. What is he doing?

_Protecting your heart,_ says the tiny voice in his head, and he quiets it down. 

She walks towards him, stopping once she’s so physically close he feels like he’s going to drown in her presence. She has always been like that, always the only thing to be seen in a room full of distractions. 

She is looking at him with a feeling he cannot decipher, nor does he want to start doing so. 

_But she’s your best friend,_ says the voice again, and he ignores it once again. 

He sees her move, and only registers what she’s doing once her thin arms are wrapped tightly around him, and her head is resting against his chest. 

The breath that escapes him sounds broken, like he’s been holding it in the whole time she’s been away. Before he can command his brain to do so, he wraps his arms around her, holding her as tight and close as physically possible. 

This is Rey. His best friend, his other half. 

They hug each other for what feels like an eternity, breathing each other in, and the fractures in his heart start shifting to accommodate her new size. 

The Rey-sized gaping hole in his heart is full again, and this time, he won’t let her go. 

§

She knows it’s him the moment she sees him. His face is etched in the deepest recesses of her soul, defining everything she is and does. He makes up about ninety-nine percent of her memories. She has trouble remembering life before Ben — she started breathing when she met him. 

And then she lost him. 

She has been bitter at her parents for taking her away for the past ten years. 

She studies him, and she knows he’s doing the same. He has grown into his looks; his body has grown into the shape of his face. Gone is the boy with the disproportionate features — the one standing in front of her is a young man, tall, thin, but not skinny, more fit. He wears his hair long, and she knows there are ears he so hates hiding beneath it. He’s working his jaw in that way she knows he does whenever he is at a loss for words. His eyes are the same, a mixture of every shade of brown known to mankind and green. She loves his eyes; she always thought they were pretty. 

Were his lips always so attractive? 

She can hear the principal talk, but she can’t be bothered to listen. Ben is here, right in front of her, and her silly little heart is threatening to burst right out of her chest. 

He walks, and she follows him. He gets straight to the point, he always did, showing her the cafeteria, the journal office, the music room, the library, and she tries to grab his attention several times. 

He interrupts her every single time. He knows she’s trying to talk to him, and yet he keeps going. 

Can’t he see how much it hurts? They used to talk about everything. 

She stops in the middle of the hall, and he’s walking, not bothering to check whether or not she’s following. But she’s had enough; she just wants to talk. 

She shouts his name, and sees him stop in his tracks. Two heartbeats pass before he turns around. 

“Ben, please, stop,” she hears herself whisper, taking tentative steps towards him, stopping once she’s as close as she knows he’ll let her. He was always picky about his personal space, but she was the only one allowed in it. She just doesn’t know if she still has that privilege. 

_There’s only one way to find out, isn’t there?_ asks the hopeful voice in her head, and she decides to trust it, for it has never let her down before. 

She wraps her arms around him before she can second guess her decision, resting her head against his chest. She can hear the rapid thump of his heartbeat, and realizes their hearts are beating in the same rhythm, fully in sync. 

It takes a second, but she feels like crying the moment she feels his arms around her, his nose in her hair. 

This is Ben, her Ben. 

She breathes him in, his musky scent dizzying, yet comforting at the same time. It smells like home — this is home. 

It feels safe. _He_ feels safe, and she’s not letting him go again. 


	2. Green eyes, and freckles, and your smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the lovely tmwillson3 for beta-reading!
> 
> Hey Rae, I heard you’ve been poking around, trying to find out who I am. Adding fancy page breaks is easier than you think ;) 
> 
> You’ve asked so many people about me already- are you any closer to the truth?
> 
> I’ve scattered several Easter eggs throughout the chapter...

[ ](https://ibb.co/gJxLt8M)

_**Now** _

They meet at the coffee shop after school. Being around each other should be as effortless as breathing, but in this moment, they couldn’t be farther away from each other. She’s sitting right across from him, and he wants to hug her again. He just doesn’t know how. 

“So,” she says, breaking the deafening silence that is their encounter. “How have you been?”

He gives her a slight smile, and it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m good. You?” 

She mirrors his smile, and he wants to bang his head against the wall. This awkwardness is aggravating.

“Also good,” she says after a heartbeat or two, sipping on her coffee. 

They both resume their silent exchange. He takes her in, wants to ask why she left, why she chose to hurt him like that. 

“Look, Rey,” he says, but she holds up one finger, interrupting him. 

“Wait, let me say this first. I know you’re mad at me. I don’t blame you. But I had no say,” she says, shaking her head. 

His nostrils flare. “Of course you had a say,” he says, crossing his arms. 

She huffs. “ _I was eight, Ben._ What did you expect me to do, get emancipated at eight and say ‘fuck it’?!” She bites her lip, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you this whole time. And I certainly never forgave my parents for taking me away from you.”

He blinks away any tears threatening to spill, and looks at the ceiling. He examines every ridge, all the tiny round lights, and it takes him back to a starry night sky many years ago. 

* * *

_**Then** _

He’s sitting on the small windowseat in his room, paper in hand. The night sky is clear outside, the stars twinkling bright. He is supposed to be going to bed in a bit, but he desperately needs to finish what he’s doing. He sets the paper down and examines it. 

There’s a drawing he made. He knows it’s not too pretty, but he hopes she will like it. There’s her in it, in her yellow dress from the first day of school, and he contemplates whether he would fit next to her. He makes up his mind and starts drawing himself on her right. He observes it once he’s done, and decides it’s as good as he’ll manage. He writes their names above each drawn version of themselves, and rolls it up, deciding to give it to Rey the next day. 

* * *

_**Now** _

He smiles wistfully. She had loved that drawing, and the twinkle in her eye and big smile had been all the thank you he had needed. 

She had gone the extra mile and kissed his cheek, too. 

He sighs. “You’re right. Of course you couldn’t have done a thing; you were too young.”

She gives him a sad smile. “I really want to be friends with you, Benny.”

His heart thumps away happily, and he gets very warm on the inside at the sound of his old nickname. “We were always friends, Rey.”

§

She wonders if he remembers it all. Are there things he decided to file away? Things he decided to press delete on? She certainly remembers everything about him, every promise they made. He was her first friend, the world a very gloomy place without him in her life. She has tried to find him so many times, but he isn’t on any social media platform. Seeing him now with her own two eyes makes it abundantly clear; Ben _screams_ of privacy.

“Are your parents still working at the same place?” she blurts out without even thinking. His parents and hers have always been a touchy subject, so she has only ever taken the small bits he has been willing to share. 

She wants to thank them for making his existence possible, but somehow doesn’t think the years have changed their feelings about her. 

“Yeah,” he answers, lowering his mug once he’s taken a sip. “My dad still has the car repair shop. My mom is into politics, as always. Not much has changed. Yours?”

“Oh, you know, the usual. Mom still home, dad works at the ministry. We have moved around quite a bit, but this time, I’ve made it clear to both of them that this is it. I’m not moving anymore.”

He looks at her, his gaze hopeful, and she bites her lip. Does he remember?

“I do,” he answers, and she realizes her thought has been said out loud. “I remember it. I remember everything.”

She smiles timidly and looks at him through her eyelashes. “I missed you,” she says. 

He smiles. “I missed you, too.”

* * *

_**Then** _

They leave their classroom at the same time, walking next to each other. The friendship they’re struck is immediate — they’re both new, and they don’t know anyone. They were both left to fend for themselves, their parents wrongfully thinking they wanted their privacy. 

They didn’t. 

Walking out of the building, Rey sees her mother’s car waiting for her. She stops, turning to Ben. 

“I’m glad we met today,” she says, smiling at him. 

He returns it. “Me, too. I will see you tomorrow?”

She nods, hugging him. “See you tomorrow!” 

Walking to her mom's car, she sees her mother get out of the driver’s seat and walk towards her. The look on her face is one Rey has seen only very rarely, when someone does something to displease her, and Rey has never been on the receiving end of it. 

She chances a look at Ben, and sees him being approached by a woman, who shares the same look on her face as her mom. Both women look at each other for a split second, and their faces transform from upset to positively furious. 

“Get in, baby,” her mom says, clasping her seatbelt and closing the door. She hops in and starts the engine, speeding them both off the school grounds. 

“How was your day?” Rey hears her ask. 

She smiles at her brightly. “It was awesome! Everyone is really nice, and I made friends.”

“Oh yeah?” she asks, looking at her from the small mirror. “Anyone in particular?”

She nods excitedly. “Yes. This boy, his name is Ben. He’s new like me, and he’s very nice.”

Her mother takes a second before answering. “The boy you walked out with?”

Rey just nods, smiling. Ben had been the best part of that day. 

“Sweetie,” her mom says, clicking her tongue. “You can’t be friends with Ben.”

Her eyebrows furrow in confusion. “But why?”

All she gets is a shrug. “He comes from a bad family, and his parents are evil people.”

She can feel her eyes tearing up, refusing to believe it. Ben is the best; there is no way his family is bad. But then again, his parents had left him alone today. 

_But so did yours_ , says the trusty voice in her head. 

“Why?” she asks further, and her mother sighs. 

“Well,” she says, taking a turn. “You know how Grandpa Sheev used to have a store with pet accessories?”

Rey nods, not remembering her grandpa that well, but aware of his pet store. 

“He had the store together with a friend. Grandpa got old, and decided to retire. His friend was not happy, and so he said some very mean things to Grandpa, until his heart got so hurt that it stopped working.”

She bites her lip, thinking about it. “What happened to his friend?”

Her mom shakes her head. “No friend. Friends don’t hurt you, sweet girl,” she says. “All I know is that Anakin died around the same time your Grandpa did.”

“But…” she thinks about it for a split second, a fraction of a heartbeat. “What does that have to do with Ben?”

She hears her mother sigh as she drives the car into their garage. She kills the engine, turning around to face her. “Baby. Anakin was _Ben’s_ grandpa.”

Rey shakes her head, feeling tears well up in her eyes. “You’re wrong.”

Her mom shakes her head, looking at her straight in the eye. “No, Rey. Why would I lie to you?”

“Ben isn’t like them.”

“Rey.” She sees her mom get out of the car, walking to her side. The door opens, her seatbelt unclasping, and her mom picks her up, getting her out of the car. “You will not be friends with that boy anymore; do I make myself clear?”

Her voice is harsh, and there’s a tone of finality to it that Rey hasn’t heard before. 

“Do I, Rey?”

She forces the tears in her eyes back. She doesn’t want to say goodbye to Ben after having just met him. He is a good person. He is nothing like the people her mom claims him to be related to. 

She chooses the one answer she knows will satisfy her mother. The one that she knows won’t raise any suspicions. “Yes, mommy.”

She will ask Ben about it tomorrow. Ben won’t lie to her. 

* * *

_**Now** _

“Okay,” she says, sitting in the booth. Their place is secluded, not wanting to be seen. Their newly-recovered friendship is as fragile as crystal, and she doesn’t want loose lips to let this get to their parents. 

Which brings her to her question…

“Do your parents still think I’m the spawn of Satan?” she asks, trying to keep her voice light, but she knows he can read between each and every one of her lines. 

He sighs. “Do yours?” he asks, and she lets out a laugh, the emotions laced through it anything but joyous. 

“Oh, boy…” she trails off as he gets a faraway look in his eyes, and she knows he’s taking a trip down memory lane. 

* * *

_**Then** _

“Ben, sweetie,” his mom says, driving them home. “Who was that girl you were hanging out with?”

He blinks at her in confusion until he realizes she means Rey. 

“Oh, Rey? She’s my new friend. She is also new to this school,” he says, smiling. He might have not been very enthusiastic about school that morning, not being very fond of new people, but Rey had made it all better. 

“Hmmm,” she hums, not saying much else for the next few minutes. 

He should ask her whether he can invite Rey over sometime. Her mom can come too, and their moms can be friends while he and Rey play together. 

He opens his mouth to ask, but his mother beats him to it, speaking first. 

“I don’t want you hanging out with that girl, anymore.”

He feels a sadness in his chest that wasn’t there before. “Why?”

His mother huffs, shaking her head. “They are terrible people. Palpatines are not to be trusted.”

He shakes his head. “Not Rey. She is amazing, and kind, and friendly.”

Leia sighs, parking in their driveway. “Remember how Grandpa Anakin had a shop with his friend?”

He nods, not really understanding how this could have anything to do with Rey. 

“Well, when Grandpa Anakin wanted to retire, his friend wasn’t too happy about it. He said some terrible things that sent your Grandpa to the hospital, where he died a few hours later.”

He feels his heart hurt, as if the weight of something is crushing it. 

“But Rey isn’t like them,” he says, trying to justify her, to find an explanation, anything that allows him to keep her. 

“Everyone is the same. Please don’t talk to her, Ben. I wouldn’t want her hurting you — it’s what a Palpatine does.”

He refuses to believe it, knows it not to be true in his heart. Rey would never do that. Rey is good. 

He’ll ask her about it tomorrow. She’ll tell him the truth.

* * *

_**Now** _

He shakes his head, coming out of his trance. She’s looking at him, studying him — he feels like he’s under her microscope, like she’s dissecting his whole being with just a look. 

Her piercing hazel eyes were always able to see through someone’s highest walls and strongest barriers. 

“So,” she says, pursing her lips. “I think it’s smarter if we keep this under wraps. I don’t really give a crap about our family drama, but I don’t think this —” she moves her hand in a back and forth motion between them “— needs any more stress.”

He nods, the truth in her words undeniable. “You’re right. But I hate it, just so we’re clear.”

She laughs, and his heart makes a little flutter. She’s the only thing in this room full of people, the only one he sees — green eyes, her freckles, and her smile. 

“I hate it too, but we handled it pretty good the first time,” she says with a wink. 

They talk about everything: movies, songs, likes, and dislikes. They have most of them in common — minus her weird obsession with Taylor Swift — and he starts feeling like they haven’t been a day apart. 

Falling back into a close friendship with Rey is as easy as breathing, and this time, he’s going to do everything in his power to protect them from the world. 

* * *

_**Then** _

They approach each other timidly the next day. He’s moving his jaw in a way that Rey has become familiar with in their twenty-four hour long friendship, and she knows it’s a sign of nervousness — what for, she doesn’t know. She can’t say she’s doing much better herself either — she has been chewing on her lip the whole morning. 

“Hi,” she greets him, trying to plaster a smile on her face. 

“Hi,” he greets back, and she wonders what is worrying him. 

They look at each other for a split second before she can’t take it anymore, and takes a deep breath. 

“My mom told me it was your grandpa’s fault that mine died,” she says with a small voice, and knows he has heard her when his eyes widen. 

“My mom told me that it was your grandpa’s fault,” he says, furrowing his eyebrows. 

She mirrors his action. That can’t be right. 

A heartbeat passes before both of them ask the same question. 

_Whose grandpa’s fault was it?_


	3. I loved you in secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the lovely tmwillson3 for beta-reading and to my blankfish for alpha reading. They’re both amazing writers so go show them some love ❤️
> 
> Rae, now that this is out in the open: my plan was to post chapter 3 on April 10, the day I met you, but that would have been too long. So here you go, this is for you. Thanks for being there, and for being you. You’re 50% of the reason I started writing and I wouldn’t be here without you. Happy early friendiversary. I love you ❤️

[ ](https://ibb.co/XsQFByd)

**_Then_**

They sit under the tree — it has become their tree now — sharing chocolate Rey smuggled to school from home. It’s their lunch break, and they don’t have to be back in class for a little while longer. 

Rey’s head is resting on Ben’s shoulder as she unwraps the wrapping paper of a small chocolate bar. 

“Do you think our parents know that we are still friends?” she asks, looking up at him. 

He simply shrugs. “I don’t think they do, or they would have yelled at us. And I think they’re wrong anyway.”

“How so?” she asks, popping a small piece in her mouth. 

“Well,” he says, and she hears him sigh. “Something just doesn’t sound right. The stories don't make sense.”

“What do you think then?” she asks, sitting up and looking at him. 

He’s looking back at her, pressing his lips and rolling his jaw in this funny way he always does. “I think we’re right, that no grandpa killed the other. I think they just never bothered to find out the truth.”

She stares off into the distance. Ben is right. Something definitely doesn’t fit; there is something missing, too. An important piece of information, or a person who knows more about the situation. 

She shrugs one shoulder. “Well, whatever it is. You’re my best friend, and that will not change,” she says, giving Ben a tight hug. 

He returns it just as eagerly. “You’re _my_ best friend, Rey,” he says, and she pulls away. 

The bell rings, signaling the start of their next class. 

* * *

**_Now_**

Rey is full of light—the sun, moons and all the stars combined. She shines so brightly, her light so blinding that it takes his breath away every morning when he sees her, occupies his thoughts the whole day, until he is unable to function properly without her.

She clings to him those first few days—he knows it’s because she doesn’t know anyone else, not because his company is the only one she needs. He loves it, being surrounded by her, listening to her talk about everything and have her face light up in the most brilliant smile. It’s like the first sighting of sun after having had dark clouds for a long time. 

It’s crazy, how she’s able to change his entire day just by breathing. He wonders how he spent all those years without her.

One thing he finds out about Rey right away is her affinity for science. She doesn’t try to understand it; she just does. It’s as effortless as breathing. Most of their classes are together, which means that he gets to enjoy her in all her smartness, and she truly is smart. She is smart with numbers, smart with languages, smart with arts; she is just smart. He hates the way he sounds, like a lovesick teenager who thinks his crush hung the moon, but the truth is she did, long ago. And he has had a crush on her for a decade. Rey is perfect, and there is no one like her. 

He thinks he might have a problem. He can’t allow himself to feel this way; it would never work, not with the way their families despise the mere thought of each other. He wouldn’t be able to take her out on dates, spend time at her place—or she at his—pick her up for a dance, have a photo taken by her over-enthusiastic mother. He and Rey would have to hide most of each other from the people closest to them, and she deserves more than that. She deserves someone who will be able to do all that openly. That person isn’t him. 

It’s not as if she likes him anyway. He’s just her friend, nothing more. 

He sees fingers wave in front of his face. 

“Hey, earth to Ben?” 

Her voice is sweet like honey, her eyes as bright as a summer day. How is she even real?

He shakes his head as if the mere action will expel all thoughts of her from his mind. 

“Sorry. I was distracted,” he says, hoping she won’t ask him about it. 

She just looks at him curiously and shrugs slightly. “Want to work on the project together?” she says, pointing to the topic in front of her. “We have to pick a partner for the year, and I figured we could try?”

He nods, not giving it much thought. “Yeah, sounds great.”

The smile she gives him is enough to light up the whole town. 

**X**

Rey watches him work, mixing liquids together, taking notes in that beautiful handwriting of his. She used to watch him write whenever she could back in the day, back when his handwriting should have been terrible, but it never was. Like nothing about Ben was terrible. 

He represents a safety blanket, a warm home, a place she could go to, _a person_ that was carved right out of her soul. Like her entire being needed someone corporeal and the universe gave her Ben. 

He is perfect. She could bask in the warm glow of his presence the whole day, doing nothing but observing him, admiring him, liking him from a safe distance, because whatever her heart was telling her brain, it isn’t meant to be. There is no future for them. 

He writes their names at the end of the report, pausing slightly before writing hers extra carefully, as if he is savoring every stroke of every line of the curves of her name. He makes it look so easy, so effortless. He makes the letters of chemical elements look beautiful. 

The bell rings, and she is thankful for it, for it stops her trail of thoughts before it becomes terribly dangerous. They walk next to each other, in a silence that should be very uncomfortable but isn’t. 

“Do you ever think about our grandparents?” he asks, breaking the silence as they stop in front of their lockers, next to each other like everything in their life has been, ever since they met. 

She would be lying if she said she hadn’t. She has thought about the strange coincidence for years, thought of snooping around to figure out what the actual truth was, but any success she might have had had felt incredibly boring without Ben to share it with. 

“Often. There have been so many occasions where I’ve just wanted to, you know,” she says, shrugging. “Figure out what the hell happened. But it all felt very…”

“Meaningless?” He says, looking at her in a way that screams of ‘I know exactly what you mean’.

“Yeah…” she trails off, unsure of what else to say. What’s there to say, anyway? Her first real friendship had been defined by a family rivalry so ridiculous, she couldn’t even take it seriously anymore. 

She wants to love Ben openly, fearlessly, like she has done for years, even when she wasn’t old enough to know what love truly was. But hearts are fragile little things, and she can’t have Ben exit her life again. 

So she gives him all the love a friend can give, all the support, and she keeps the other kind of love locked tightly inside the deepest crevices of her heart. 

“Hey,” he says, lifting her chin with his fingers. “Are you okay? You looked sad there for a second.”

She shakes her head, willing her brain to cooperate. “Yeah. No yeah, I’m fine.”

“Okay,” he says. She feels like he isn’t entirely sure about it, but she’s thankful he just lets her be. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

She nods, letting a small smile dance on her lips, enough to convince him that nothing's wrong, even though that’s a lie, even though she knows he knows the ins and outs of her soul, regardless of the decade they’ve spent apart. 

He looks at her for a moment, half a heartbeat, before he bends down to kiss her cheek. “See you tomorrow!” He waves at her as she’s left standing there, stunned. 

She’s frozen, watching his retreating form, physically in place, but her mind is transported, taken back a decade to an uncharacteristically sunny November day…

* * *

**_Then_**

She walks into the building with a spring in her step. Today is what she has decided is her favorite day ever because her favorite person in the world was born. 

She sees his mop of black hair waiting for her and quickens her pace, eventually running until he’s at arms reach, and she hugs him tight. 

“Happy Birthday, Benny!” she says, grin so huge that her face hurts. 

He grins back, returning the hug. “Thank you.”

The rest of the day goes by uneventfully. They avoid being seen together, knowing their families don’t want to. Their tree is the only one where they can just be, just Ben and Rey—no Solos, no Skywalkers, no Palpatines. Just two friends. 

“I made you something,” she says once they’re in their break, sitting at their favorite spot by the tree. “Here.” 

She pulls out a piece of paper. “I made you this. It’s the tree. This tree. _Our_ tree.”

He smiles—the kind of smile Rey knows is the happy one—and hugs her. “I love it. Thank you, Rey.”

“I’m happy you’re my friend,” he says after a bit. “It’s nice celebrating my birthday with you.”

She feels pride at that, knowing she has made him happy, that she’s a good friend. She likes Ben a lot. “I’m happy _you’re_ my friend,” she says, leaning forward and kissing his cheek. 

The blush on his cheeks is very cute.

“My parents do that, too,” he says. “Sometimes on the cheek, sometimes on the lips.”

Her eyes widen in recognition. “Mine do that, too,” she says. “My mommy told me it’s what you do when you love someone.”

He smiles, her favorite person in the world. “I love you, Rey.”

She leans forward instinctively, kissing his lips the way she did his cheek, the way she’s seen her mom do with her dad sometimes. “I love you too, Benny.”

* * *

**_Now_**

He wakes up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. The room is dark, illuminated only by the moonlight shining through his skylight. 

He thinks of the dream he just had. Why did he have that dream in the first place? Was it because he had kissed her cheek that afternoon, bringing back memories of another kiss on the cheek that had somehow developed into another kiss _elsewhere_?

They had been kids. He knows he loves her; he has since the age of seven. But she’s his friend.

Letting his head fall on his hands, he shakes it and gets up, going to the kitchen to get a glass of water. 

The room is dark, but he has no trouble navigating it. He opens the fridge, grabbing a small bottle of water, and closes it, leaning against the countertop next to it. 

None of this would have been happening had he not kissed her cheek earlier that afternoon. Rey had always plagued his memories, but dreaming of her was something entirely new. 

He stands there, thinking, replaying bits and pieces from the composition that is their life and connection. 

He doesn’t know how late it is when he goes back to bed again—he knows by looking outside his window that it isn’t as dark anymore, though not entirely light either. 

A glance at his phone shows it’s 5:42 in the morning and a message from Hux, his closest friend, healthy enough to resume school again. 

He wonders if Hux will like Rey; though he knows everyone likes Rey. 

_Everyone but your parents,_ supplies the ever-present voice in his head.

 _But they don’t know her,_ he says back. _They would love her if they did._

The whisper leaves him alone after that, and he decides to go for a run before getting ready for school. 

He needs to clear his mind if he wants to survive around her.   
  


§

There’s a tap on his shoulder the moment he steps into the building. 

“Good morning!”

His heart starts beating rapidly. “Aren’t you very happy this morning. What’s up?”

Rey gives him a one-shouldered shrug. “Nothing. It’s just a good day, that’s all.”

“You can already tell?”

She nods. “Tackle every day with positivity, and you’ll see the kind of wonders it’ll do for you.”

“Sage words from Rey Palps, life guru,” he says, smirking as they take a turn, heading to their lockers. 

“Yep,” she says, a playful smile on her lips. “You figured out my side hustle.”

“Of course. Kid Ben always knew his best friend would become a life guru.”

“Look at you, Solo. A week sick and you’ve already replaced me?” says an all-too familiar voice behind him, and he rolls his eyes. 

The ginger menace walks around from behind him and extends his hand. “You must be new here. I’m Armitage.”

Rey eyes him up and down before shaking his hand, smiling. “Rey, pleasure to meet you.”

Hux’s eyes go wide, turning to look at him, then Rey. “ _The_ Rey?” he says, mouth open in shock. 

Rey’s eyebrows go up to her hairline. “The Rey?”

Her eyes are on him now, silently asking for clarification. What’s he supposed to do, tell her how he never got her out of his mind? 

Hux takes pity on him, saving him from having to give an explanation. “He told me his childhood friend Rey joined our school the other day. I just wasn’t expecting to meet you so soon, that’s all.”

Her eyes narrow in suspicion, not buying a single word, but merciful enough to drop it anyway. “Right. Well, I have to get to class. See you later, Benny.” She turns to Hux. “Armitage.”

Like the wind, she turns around and walks away, leaving him standing there with burning red ears and a best friend he would very much like to punch in the face.   
  


§

He spends first period thinking about her, and second period looking at her. She isn’t in his class during third period, but the fourth one she is, so he looks at her some more during that one. He can see she’s already liked—what's not to like? There is nothing about Rey not to like, and this is the pure truth, not because he’s the lovesick idiot he is. 

He hears snickering behind him and turns to see Hux, his barely contained laughter making his face look red with exertion. 

“Spit it out,” he says, slightly annoyed by not being privy to the reason he’s laughing. 

Hux burst into a silent fit of laughter. “You have it _bad._ I had my suspicions when you told me about Rey years ago, but I never thought it was _this_ bad.”

Ben rolls his eyes. “Shut up.”

“No really,” Hux says, growing serious. “You should get moving, Solo, or you might have to fight for her attention.”

He looks at him quizzically, unsure of what he’s talking about. “What do you mean?”

Hux points with his head to where Rey is sitting, and he sees her talking to a guy. 

Oh. 

Okay. 

_It’s fine,_ he thinks, as if trying to convince himself that he’s okay with it. _She’s free to have her own friends. Just because I was her first friend doesn’t mean I have to be the only one._

So he puts that image out of his mind completely and focuses on the lesson. But when fourth period is over and the three of them walk to the fifth, he sees several guys _looking_ at Rey, turning their heads to check her out once they’ve passed her. He gives them death stares, and is satisfied when they look away, but there are also those who don’t, who just look at him. 

Almost as if they’re challenging him to do something about it. 

He tries to put all the stares out of his mind, but he can’t, especially when he sits next to her, working on their project, her intoxicating scent next to him, her siren voice an impossible call to ignore. 

He knows what he has to do; he just doesn’t know if he has the strength to do it. This wasn’t how it was going to go, not what he had planned. Maybe every other guy in school fucking her with their eyes is a good thing. He knows what _they_ look like and what _he_ looks like. All he’s got going for him is his height. 

But as he’s cornered in the boys’ changing room and asked about whether Rey has a boyfriend or not, he decides that he will burn it all to the ground for her, and that he at least has to ask her. Hux is right. He has to get moving, or Rey will slip through his fingers and into the eager arms of one of the douchebags currently comparing their dick sizes behind him. 

So he looks for her, through the whole school, until he finds her, and asks her whether she wants to go to the homecoming dance with him. 

The smile, nod, and following peck on the cheek she gives him is worth every worry about all the ways this could go wrong, for both of them. 

She’s worth it all. 


	4. Back then I swore I was gonna marry her someday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the lovely tmwillson3 for beta-reading and to my blankfish for alpha reading. They’re both amazing writers so go show them some love ❤️
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has given this little baby of mine their love. This is the last chapter with regular flashbacks. Check the end notes for the two ways in which I self inserted myself 😂
> 
> Much love, E ❤️

[ ](https://ibb.co/XsQFByd)

**_Now_ **

She walks through the school halls, with no specific destination. She hasn’t seen Ben in a while, and she feels like she has a certain daily quota to meet for him. She’s been far away enough from him as it is, already.

She’s aware of the looks she gets, and while they don’t make her uncomfortable, she would rather not be the center of attention for those drowning in testosterone. Her own thoughts have completely swallowed her, and the world around her is a simple background, which is why she never hears her name being called.

Turning around, she sees Ben approaching her. His hands are in his pockets, and his mannerisms are shy, almost as if he’s about to do something he has never done before. He’s standing right in front of her, wordless and unmoving, save for the way he rolls his jaw. She clears her throat, and that seems to snap him out of it. His hand darts out of his pocket and scratches the back of his neck.

“Hi,” she says, determined to break whatever ice he’s stuck in first.

“Hey.”

An exhale. A slight smile, but she can see the nervousness hiding behind it and can’t help but wonder what’s bothering him.

“So, you know how schools have dances?” he asks casually, and she has a very faint feeling about where this is going, but doesn’t want to give her poor heart false hopes just in case she’s wrong, so she just nods.

He’s pursing and unpursing his lips in that way she finds so endearing. Having Ben re-enter her life was a blessing, but she never expected her feelings to hit her full force. Did she always feel this way? She tries to pinpoint the exact moment Ben became as important as he is to her. How could you feel something so strongly for someone who’s been absent from your life for ten years, when the last time you saw him was when you were eight?

His lips are moving, and she’s transfixed. As much as she’d like to keep staring, as much as she’d like to kiss him, she wills her mind to return to her body. 

“Do you wanna go to the homecoming dance with me?”

She blinks, because while she had a feeling this was coming, she can’t believe she’s heard right. Blinking lasts for about five seconds, but it’s enough to make her feel like she’s left him waiting for an answer for hours. 

Her words fail her, she’s afraid she will squeal instead of answering, make noises she knows aren’t hers, that will forever drive him away from the absolute weirdo she knows she is. 

So she does it wordlessly, like they always have, because they never needed words, not with each other. She rises on her tiptoes, and putting her hands on his shoulders—he’s a furnace, she registers—she smiles at him and pecks his cheek. 

She waits until she’s out of his sight, and once she is, she erupts into the biggest victory dance of her life. 

X

Mid-September brings the last of summer warmth enveloped in an autumnal breeze. Green leaves have turned brown, floating down to the flatness of the ground beneath them, covering the green grass in a brown blanket. 

She finds it pretty, worth documenting—mother nature being the greatest painter of them all, and that is exactly how she meets Rose. 

Rose Tico might be small, smaller than Rey, but she soon learns that what Rose lacks in size, she more than makes up for in kindness, joy, and fierceness. And so they become fast friends, close ones, the kind of friends who tell each other everything, like the kind of friends she and Ben are but without the added awkwardness of feelings. 

She’s with Rose when they meet Ben. The two of them—Rose and Ben—have never really interacted, but Rey knows them both for the sweethearts they are, and so she thinks—she _hopes_ \-- they will get along just fine. 

So it really doesn’t come as a surprise when they do. The two of them next to each other are the most comical sight to ever exist, size-wise. 

Rose is very intuitive; she listens to her gut a lot. It’s what Rey first noticed about her when they started talking. Rose is open, so open that she makes Rey look and feel like a vault. 

“I don’t think I ever asked what happened between you and Ben,” Rose asks one day as they’re having lunch in the cafeteria. “Also, do you have a dress for homecoming yet?”

Rey blinks at her extremely random questions. “Uhh...you have questions,” she says with an awkward laugh. “First, no I don’t. I need the perfect dress. Second, nothing. We were best friends. My parents moved to another city; we didn’t keep in touch. That’s it.”

“But you still reconnected,” Rose more states than asks as she takes a bite of her apple. 

Rey sighs. “Look, honestly... we needed to talk, a lot. We were children last we saw of each other, and then all of a sudden you’re standing in front of the adult version of that child with zero idea about what to say or how to act.”

Rose nods as she hums, swallowing her bite. “Did you always have a crush on him?”

Rey chokes on the sip of water she’s taking. “What?”

“I asked you whether you always had a crush—“

“I heard you,” Rey hisses. “It was more of a ‘how did you come to that question?’ kind of what.”

“Because,” says Rose, learning forward as if she’s sharing something that’s meant to be kept a secret, and Rey supposes she is. “Because you look at him as if he hung the moon. It’s obvious to anyone with eyes.”

_Oh_. 

“I—“ she trails off, looking back on her interactions with Ben. She was a child; she couldn’t have known. Whatever she had felt for Ben back then had been nothing but friendship. As she had grown up, she had started to think about him more. Dark hair, dark eyes, the way his jaw always rolled in that unique way when he chewed on his words. Eventually, Ben, the friend, had become Ben, the guy she imagined would have turned out attractive. But she wasn’t exactly sure when it had happened. 

“I don’t honestly know. I think I started imagining him in my head. Took the little boy and aged him up appropriately until I found him attractive. And then I saw him in person, and he had exceeded all of my expectations.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Rose says, grasping her hand and giving her a sympathetic look. “Does he know?”

Rey shakes her head. “And he never will. He doesn’t feel the same way, so what’s the use in making everything more awkward than it already is.”

“Whatever you say, Rey,” says Rose with a shrug, but the calculating look on her face is one Rey knows all too well. 

She looks down at her plate, playing around with a pea. Soon she gets lost in thoughts and nostalgia, and a bittersweet smile adorns her face...

* * *

**_Then_ ** ****

The coolness of November makes space for the chillness of December. Christmas tags along, and with it, a period of a winter break for Ben and Rey, a time where meeting is not possible. They meet again once school resumes. Rey gives Ben a present—a calligraphy set she pretended she wanted so her parents would buy it for her. Ben gives Rey a diary, different constellations adorning the cover. Sharing one brain cell, Ben had pretended he wanted the diary for himself in order for his parents to get it. 

“I love it!” An ecstatic Rey runs her fingers over the smooth surface of the diary’s cover, her love for stars and constellations obvious in the way her eyes glimmer, brighter than the brightest star. 

“You should tell me someday about all the constellations,” he says, smiling. 

“You wanna know?” She’s surprised, not having expected anyone but her to show interest in celestial bodies, but he isn’t just anyone. He understands Rey—and she understands him—like no other. 

Ben nods. He wants to know everything that makes Rey happy. 

“Well, look,” she says, pointing to the cover. “You couldn’t have known this, but this is your constellation, right here on this cover. It’s called Scorpius.” She taps the cover, pointing at a long line that splits into three smaller ones. “You can only see it in the summer, though. There's this legend that says that the scorpion was sent by the goddess Artemis and her mother Leto after Orion the hunter told them that he would kill every animal on Earth.” She rolls her eyes. “The scorpion killed him, but the gods thought their battle such fun that Zeus put them both in the sky. So every year, Orion appears in the winter, and disappears during the summer when it’s Scorpius’ time.”

Ben hums. “I knew of the legend, but not what their constellations look like.”

“I can show you,” she beams. “And when the summer comes, you can look outside your window and find Scorpius on your own.”

“I wish I could look at it with you.”

Her smile becomes dulled. “I’ll be looking at it at the same time and thinking of you.”

Her eyes look sad, and he wants to ask her about it, but doesn’t want to intrude. So he lets it go, and hopes that she will tell him when she’s ready. 

X

The pages on the calendar change quickly, bringing February, March, and then April, and suddenly, it’s Rey’s birthday. He writes her a letter with the calligraphy set she got him for Christmas, taking him hours to find the right style for her name, a name he loves more than anything. He writes in it all the things he loves about her, how she’s the bestest friend in the entire universe, how he wants to be her friend for as long as he can. 

Out of all the reactions he had hoped to get out of her, bursting into tears isn’t one of them. It hurts, the thought of her hating his letter, until she hugs him tightly, and he lets her cry, unsure of what the problem is. 

Her sobs eventually turn to slight hiccups, and she pulls away, her blotched face and swollen eyes making his heart clench. He’s unsure of how to react as she wipes her tears away with her sleeve and looks up at him. 

They‘re quiet for what feels like longer than it is until he hears her take a deep breath. 

“It’s my parents,” she says, sniffling. “We’re moving once school is over.”

He sits there in stunned silence, idly wondering if this was in someway his fault. His mind takes him back to that one time when he started to learn how to ride a bike, around the age of four or so. He had thought it possible to descend the stairs with his new bike, and so he had tried, and had ended up with a sprained ankle. The descent had felt long and slow, like life was going at half the speed it normally did, and the pain had been terrible. 

This, though...this is ten times worse than a sprained ankle. 

“Ben?” 

Her small voice snaps him out of his misery. “You’re moving,” he says, a sad expression on his face. 

She nods. “My dad found a better job in another city, and we’re moving. I don’t know if we’re ever coming back.”

He nods numbly. 

“I don’t want to go. You know that, right?” The way she says it is scared, like she’s afraid of the answer he might give.

He can’t help but blame himself. It’s usually always his fault. Was it because of his grandpa?

“Yeah, I know,” he says, wrapping his arms around her, hugging her tightly to himself. His best friend, his favorite person. Leaving right after he’d found her. 

He cries once he’s locked in his own room.

X

It’s a gloomy day, their last day of school. Maybe the universe knows it’s not Ben and Rey’s favorite day, that they will mark this day on the calendar as the worst day of their lives. They spend their breaks as physically close as they can, glued together by an invisible force. They sit under their tree during lunch break, appetite lacking, when he breaks the silence. 

“Do you really think we might never see each other again?” 

His question doesn’t seem to catch her by surprise, and he knows her so well that he is aware she’s been thinking about the same thing all day. She places her peanut butter and jelly sandwich back in her lunch box and closes the lid, placing it on the lush green grass next to her crossed legs. She takes both his hands in hers and looks at him in the eye. “I don’t know if we will see each other again. I will never forget you, and I’ll come back for you. I promise.”

He feels his chin tremble, overwhelmed by the onslaught of tears he can feel coming, and looks around as if to avoid looking at Rey, even though all he wants to do is commit every inch of Rey’s face to memory, do it so well that he knows it better than his own. 

Spotting a sharp rock within their reach, he grabs it, turning it this and that way several times, until he finally settles on an edge sharper than the others. 

“What are you doing?” she asks as he stands up, turning to the tree. 

“We’ve been spending time together under this tree for an entire school year,” he says, scraping the sharp edge of the rock against the tree bark, satisfied when he sees it leaving a trail in its wake. “I think it’s fair if I claim it as our tree.”

He connects the two ends of the line together, dropping the rock once he’s finished, satisfied with what he’s done. 

“A heart,” she says, smiling. “Our tree with a heart.”

“Rey,” he says, and he is now the one taking her hands in his. “I don’t know if we will ever see each other again. I don’t see my parents moving away and leaving this place, so I’ll be here. I’ll visit this tree every year on this day, in case you ever return. And if you do return, and you’re a grownup and still remember me, I want to marry you. Because you’re my best friend and I love you.”

Her only response is the tightest hug she’s ever given him, her small body shaking as she sobs, and he breaks down and cries with her. 

He openly looks at her as her mom picks her up at the end of the school day. She does the same, and in the moment their eyes lock. They whisper their silent goodbye, and he somehow knows, can feel it in his bones:

They’ll see each other again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact nr.1: teenage me was obsessed with constellations. I’m not as obsessed now, but I do like to look at the sky and find them from time to time. 
> 
> Fun fact nr.2: when I first learned how to ride the bike, I decided to challenge myself and ride it down the stairs (big stairs, about 20 of them). Like Ben, I sprained my ankle. I was four. To this day, I can’t ride the bike. 🤡


	5. There is an indentation in the shape of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the lovely tmwillson3 for beta-reading!

[ ](https://ibb.co/gJxLt8M)  
  
“So. Have you given your homecoming dress any thought?” Rose says as she goes through the dresses hanging on the rack. She isn’t entirely sure whether they will be able to find something at this store, but they have the whole day at their disposal.

Rey simply shrugs. “I don’t know. I usually let inspiration hit as I’m looking at clothes.”

Rey doesn’t say what Rose already knows, that she is nervous as hell because she’s going with Ben. Watching them dance around each other and never addressing their feelings was cute at first, entertaining even, but now Rose feels like they’ve shortened her lifespan by ten years with how oblivious they both are. She never thought people could be so clueless, but the universe has a tendency of proving her otherwise.

She plays along, pretends she believes the lie Rey told her, that she hasn’t thought about a dress. She knows better, knows how Rey has ten different tabs open on her phone browser with dress ideas, checks pinterest the whole day, googles what kind of cuts would fit her figure best. But her friend needs to do this alone, and so she just follows her everywhere.

It takes them the whole day, shop after shop after shop, and Rose has long since found her dress, when they see a small boutique and decide to try their luck. A small woman greets them upon entering, her big glasses taking up half of her face, with eyes that give Rose the feeling like she’s looking straight into her soul.

“Welcome! How may I help you?” she asks politely as she comes out from behind the counter.

“I’m looking for a dress,” is all Rey says, and Rose sighs, convinced she needs to finally take over.

“It’s her first homecoming dance at our school, and the guy she has a crush on asked her to it.”

Rey turns around and glares at her, and if she had the power to, Rose knows she would have burned holes through her head. 

“Oh, is that so?” the shop owner says with a smile, the kind of smile Rose knows means trouble for Rey and fun for her. “I’m Maz,” she introduces herself, and circles Rey, looking at her up and down.

Rey’s eyes follow Maz as she walks in circles around her. “I’m Rey. That’s Rose.”

Rose can simply wave, though what for, she doesn’t know. Maz is too busy looking at Rey like she’s her next big project.

“Okay,” she finally says, smile still plastered on her face. “I think I have _the_ dress for you. Do you trust me?”

Rey nods, slowly, giving up and letting Maz take over, who disappears to the back of the shop, coming out a few minutes later with a bag bigger than her.

“I designed this dress a while ago. I didn’t hang it here because I was waiting for the perfect moment. Would you be willing to put it on for me, please?”

Rey nods and takes the bag from Maz’s hands, heading to the changing room. Maz looks at Rose, who looks back at her.

“I know everyone in this town, but I haven’t seen her around before. Did she just move here?”

Rose nods. “She was born and used to live here when she was young, but her parents moved away. They’re back now.”

“Oh?” Maz raises an eyebrow. “What’s her last name?” 

“Palpatine.” 

The last name alone makes her eyebrows shoot up. “They’re back?”

Rose nods. “They returned about a month ago, so she’s new around here and she isn’t at the same time.”

Maz shakes her head, sighing. “That family. Always fighting with the other one, both too stubborn to listen.”

Before Rose can ask what she means, Rey walks out of the changing room, clearing her throat to catch their attention. Rose looks up, and if she were a character in an animated series, her jaw would have dropped dramatically. “Rey, that’s—”

“Beautiful,” says Maz, a hint of pride in her voice. “I feel like I might have as well designed that dress for you.” 

“This is it, Rose,” says Rey, eyes bright from joy. “This is _the_ dress.”

They pay a teary-eyed Maz as she runs her fingers over the fabric. “Thank you for trusting me. I am so glad you walked into my shop today.”

Rey smiles. “Thank you for trusting me with your dress.”

Rose claps her hands, excitement evident in her face. “I can’t wait to see Ben’s face when he sees it.”

Something changes in Maz’s face when Rose mentions Ben. Maz doesn’t elaborate, and Rose doesn’t ask her to. It’s a specific look, the one she gets as she’s leaving the shop, the kind of look that makes Rose think that Maz knows more than she lets on, and she files that information for later use.

She did say she knows everyone in this town.

* * *

He watches her pour the liquid from one glass container into the other, brows furrowed in concentration. Chemistry seems to be one of the subjects she enjoys the most, and while he didn’t like it at first, he is now glad she isn’t his project partner—that means he can look at her from a safe distance, observe every change in her expression, the smallest of details in her expressive face. He should be paying attention to his own work, but he would rather admire the work of art that is Rey. 

It’s how he spends most of his chemistry class, mixing liquids while daydreaming about Rey, risking either getting burned or caught. He packs his stuff as soon as the bell rings, leaving the room soon after. His daydreaming continues, this time about the homecoming dance he’s supposed to take her to, of holding Rey in his arms to the sound of soft music, holding her like he’s been wanting to ever since he saw her that first day of school after missing her for what felt like a lifetime. 

So deep in his daydreaming is he that he doesn’t notice when he, quite literally, bumps into someone. It’s enough to make him pause his mental vacation to a faraway land full of Rey and nothing else. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he hears someone say and he blinks, because the voice sounds familiar but he can’t really place why. He takes a good, long look at the blonde woman in front of him, tall but not too much, so skinny he thinks she’s about to break. He focuses on her eyes, bright and a shade of hazel he has only seen in other person, and no, he can’t believe it, the universe has no reason to hate him this much. 

Right?

She smiles, and he feels cold sweat wash over him, and a sense of _no, no, please don’t recognize me, you have no reason to._

He realizes he’s been staring for longer than his mother taught him is acceptable, and he really hopes she doesn’t think he’s into older women because he definitely isn’t, especially not _this one._

He forces his brain to cooperate and string words together. “I’m sorry; I wasn’t paying attention.”

“That’s fine,” she says, waving him off, and fuck, if the mannerisms aren’t the same as well. “I was actually looking for Miss Ploom? I can’t find her somehow...”

He gets ready to answer her, because he’d rather talk about Miss Ploom than anything else, but the universe has even more surprises in store for him. 

“Mom?” 

Ben resists the urge to facepalm. 

“Hello, sweetie,” says the mother, and Rey walks up to her from behind him, giving her a small wave. “I just met...I’m sorry,” she says apologetically. “I’m afraid I didn’t get your name.”

Sick. He’s going to be sick. He can’t say his name. _Think,_ he begs his brain to come up with something other than Ben, Benjamin, or any version of his name.

“Armitage,” he says, Hux’s name the first one coming to mind. “I’m Armitage.”

She extends her hand in greeting. “Jodie Palpatine, Rey’s mom. Pleasure to meet you, Armitage. We haven’t met before, have we? I swear you look familiar.”

“Mom, what are you doing here?” asks Rey, and that girl is a godsend. Jodie has no idea who he is, but he’d rather not stick around and give her time to figure out why he looks familiar. 

“Oh, I met Miss Ploom the other day at the library. I was looking for a book, and they didn’t have it so she told me I could borrow it here on your name.”

“I have to go,” he says, pointing behind him, even though that’s the direction he has just come from. Anything to leave Rey’s mom’s presence. 

“It was nice meeting you, Armitage!” Jodie waves at him, smiling, and he wonders what his mother would say if she ever saw this. 

Probably annoy the crap out of him. 

As he walks away, he faintly hears Jodie tell Rey about how good-looking her classmate Armitage is, and the feeling of banging his head against the wall reaches levels he didn’t even know were possible.

* * *

He sees Rey again the next morning. He’s itching to ask her whether her mother said something, whether she recognized him and is currently packing away a suitcase to send Rey to the farthest corner of the planet, as far away from him as she can. He could barely sleep the whole night, worrying Jodie might connect the dots. 

He doesn’t have to move though, as Rey approaches him herself. “Hey, you. You look like you could use some sleep.”

He sighs and a yawn takes over. “I was up the whole night. I couldn’t sleep.”

“Oh? What’s on your mind?” 

He shakes his head, so desperate he feels like it’s coming off of him in waves. “Your mother is on my mind.”

Rey snorts. “I didn’t know you were into older women. I mean, granted, my mom is a catch, but still…”

Ben groans. “Not like _that!”_

His voice must sound pained for Rey is laughing. “Wow, you’re really tired. I’m just messing with you, silly. What’s _really_ bothering you?”

He stops walking and so does she, stepping in front of him. “I’m worried your mom will put two and two together and figure out my name isn’t Armitage, and that my parents are who they are.”

“Ben, I don’t—”

“I know you think I’m overreacting,” he interrupts her, throwing his hands in the air. “But her finding out risks everything.”

“Ben,” she says, taking his hands in hers. “I don’t think you’re overreacting. But she never brought you up again. Not at all. I’m not going anywhere. Not again, I promise.”

He sighs, nodding. “Okay. Okay.”

“It’s sweet,” she says, biting her lip, a small smile dancing there. 

“What is?”

She shrugs, smile still on her face. “That you worry about us. That it keeps you up at night. You.”

She rises on her tiptoes and wraps her arms around him, and he wraps his around her in a very instinctive way, like it’s what his hands were always meant to do. 

(He supposes his hands were always meant to hug Rey. They’re making up for lost time.)

They stay like that for a bit until they hear a throat clearing, and Hux is standing behind Rey, eyebrow up in an obvious display of interest. 

“Is it free hugs day? Do I also get a hug, Rey?”

Rey rolls her eyes, shaking her head. “Depends on if you deserve it. Go do some good deeds first and then we’ll talk.”

Hux shakes his head in mock hurt. “Anyway, you look like shit, Solo.”

Ben rolls his eyes. “Always charming, Hux. I gotta get to class. I’ll see you later?” he asks Rey, and she nods. 

He walks away and heads to his first class, hoping he can sit in the back of the room and take a short nap. 

* * *

Rey and Hux head together to their first class. They get along well, whenever they’re in each other’s company, and Hux tries his best not to put her out of her misery and tell her Ben likes her. He knows they’re going to the homecoming dance together, so maybe she has some sort of clue, though bright as she is, Hux is positive she is as clueless as his friend. 

He sees Rey often in the company of a small girl, someone he’s noticed multiple times, long before she became Rey’s friend, long before Rey moved back. He likes to listen to the sound of her voice whenever she answers a question, bask in the afterglow of her smile, blinding that it is, or simply just watch her from afar, despite his own mind telling him it’s creepy and that he should stop. 

He’s tried multiple times, and he can’t. He doubts anyone can. She’s a magnet of positivity. 

She comes in a rush through the door just as class is about to start, and looks around the room for any free spots until she sits next to him, and before his brain short circuits, he tells himself it’s just because it was the only free spot.

She’s looking at his book for the page, and while he’s been shy where Rose is concerned, he isn’t an idiot. He sees an opening to talk to her; he won’t pass it up. 

He’s not Ben. 

“Page 20,” he supplies, and Rose looks up at him, giving him one of her trademark brilliant smiles.

He had known her smile was priceless, but being on the receiving end of it is just another story altogether. 

She thanks him and opens the page, resting her pen between both sides of the book. She turns to him again after a few minutes. “Are you Ben’s friend?”

He nods. “We’ve been friends for years.”

“So you know Rey.”

He blinks, because Rey isn’t really why he would talk to her, but fuck it, he’ll take it. “Yeah, I know her a little. Why?”

“Because,“ she leans close and looks around as if she were sharing with him her deepest secrets. “I know for a fact Rey likes him too. And you’re gonna help me get them together at the homecoming dance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on Tumblr Shestoolazytologin or Twitter @Reylo4President. 😊
> 
> If you liked this fic, here’s some of my other works similar to it:
> 
> [Mister Sex Therapist](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21780025/chapters/51968872) **Office AU, 4/?** —Nobody told Rey she would lose her shit during a turbulent flight and start spilling her most embarrassing secrets to the hot guy next to her. It's not like she would ever see him again... right???
> 
> [Salty About Sugar](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23888929/chapters/57430234) **Coffee AU 2/?** —Ben Solo is the owner of The Skywalker, the most famous coffee shop in town. His life is good, his business even better, until Rey Kanata moves across the street and turns his life upside-down.
> 
> [Choreae Lucis](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22557919/chapters/53904244) **Modern AU, Complete 3/3** —He first sees her when he drops his four year old daughter off at her ballet classes.  
> She is absolutely breathtaking.  
> Or simply put: Ben Solo takes his daughter to her ballet classes and forgets his heart there.
> 
> [You’re Charmin](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23303944) **a toilet paper AU (yes, you heard that right), 1/1** —Rey and Ben fight over the last package of toilet paper at the store. When he finds out she’s also his new neighbor, how far is he willing to go for a roll or two?

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked this and thanks for reading- you can find me on Tumblr Shestoolazytologin or Twitter @Reylo4President. 😊


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